Blowing Leaves and Falling Emotions

There are days when my emotions fall like the leaves in autumn. Quickly, I find myself blown by the wind, landing on the hard ground; shriveled, dying.  Chilled in the crisp air, I am reminded of what is to come. The winter that lies ahead and once again, I am tossed by the wind and I land. Hard. Lifeless. No  longer do I look to the sky for rain's nourishment.  No longer am I connected to the source of my existence and oxygen.  I am all alone.


Then there are days, I feel as if I am hanging on to the tree of life with all I have left.  Breathing in and out.  Existing. Knowing I could let go, but knowing it would only cause me pain if I did.  From up here, I can see better.  Yet with seasons change, things do not look very hopeful and I cry.

Until days like today... when I choose to realize that although I am allowed to feel deeply, it is what I know is truth that really matters.  These days, I realize I am standing strong.  I am the tree.  Because I know in spite of how the crisp air chills me, or though I stand in the fear of bitter winter, I will stand because my roots go deep.

I am reminded today that I am a follower of Christ. I am in Him and He makes me strong, unmovable.

                                              And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him.  Let your roots grown down into him, and let your lives be built on him.  Then our faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will 

overflow with thankfulness.

Colossians 2:6-7.

I am reminded today, that I am in "complete in him" (Col. 2:10). I am reminded today that I "died to this life, and my real life is hidden with Christ in God" (Col. 3:3). I am reminded by Isaiah that I will be "called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord, for the display of his splendor." (Is. 61:3)  I am reminded that I am "like a tree planted by rivers of living water,which yields fruit in season and whose leaf does not whither- whatever I do will prosper." (Psalm 1:3)

I breathe.
I breathe the air that comes from the source of my existence.  I accept His oxygen.

I still my thoughts, emotions tossed by the wind.
I ask myself, "What is the truth?"
I know truth.  He is the way, the truth and the life.

I believe.
I know with seasons change to expect beauty.
I don't know how, but beauty will come.

And although the wind is cold, and I fear the unknown... I know I am strong because I know I am connected to the source of life itself.  

And I am thankful.

Shepherding my babies

He will feed His flock like a shepherd.

    He will carry the lambs in his arms,

holding them close to his heart.

    He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.

Isaiah 40:11

I am currently reading the book, "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp.  It is a great read if you are looking for a book to guide you as you learn to speak to the heart of your child.

Isn't it funny that when God is teaching you one thing and you are open to learning that you are tested intensely in that area? This morning,  I woke up with a desire to get to the heart of my little girls' behavior.  Why is she acting a certain way?  What did I do to cause it?  How can I fix it?  What discipline needs to take place?  How can I love her best?

As I opened the Bible today, I noticed these words:

He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.

The pressure is off.  I do not have to be the perfect parent.  I cannot carry the weight of every decision my children make.  All I have to do as I shepherd them, is follow His lead..day by day, moment by moment.

I walked into my daughters room and there was a note on her bed from her daddy.  Apparently, he woke up with her on his heart as well. He let her know that he was proud of her, that he was praying for her, that he loved her and that she was his baby...his first baby.  Maybe, just maybe that was at the key to unlocking the reasoning behind her recent behavior.  With excitement building as a new baby is coming, maybe she needed to know she will always be our baby. Maybe she has been acting out to get our attention.

As parents, we discipline so many times just to fix a behavior and we do not take the time to get to the heart of that behavior.  We discipline because the kids are too loud or getting on our nerves.  We discipline to impress those who might expect us to enforce the rules.  We discipline when we are angry and we miss the point...as God's child He disciplines me because He wants to get to the heart of my issues. He wants me to grow to change and become more like him.  It is not the behavior He is concerned with, but the attitude of the heart. He knows if He gets to my heart, my behavior will change.

As a mommy, I can act pretty ugly.  I want to take things into my own hands and fix it.  At times my behavior is bad.  I am acting out trying to get His attention and all the while, He is there just waiting for me to need Him.

 As my daddy, He is telling me that I am His baby.  He is proud of me and that He loves me.  And as a daughter, that is enough to cause me to want to change.  He has gotten to my heart and I am thankful that He is willing to gently lead me as learn the way to hers.