Jumping In...Head First

I have always loved to swim, however I have always been afraid to dive in head first. I am not the best swimmer by any means. I can do the little tricks that kids do. I can stand on my hands under water, do a little flip and hold my breath for a really long time. I can jump in and make a big splash, twisting or toe touching. I keep waiting for the opportunity to be alone with someone I trust in a really deep pool so they can teach me how to take the plunge, head first. I like the idea that one person is there to save me, and no one else is there to laugh at me. I hope that one person will be my husband. I know his love is unconditional even if I mess up.


For someone who knows how to dive, this may seem silly. If you know how, you have probably dove head first more than you have jumped in and I am sure you love every minute of it. "It is easy, just do it," you are telling me as you read. Easier said than done in my case.


God's word is clear, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). Yet so many times, we allow fear to keep us from fun, adventure, freedom. We must choose to dive in and face our fear knowing that in the end, it will be worth it.


Recently, we have dove head first so to speak in our walk of faith. In the past year, God began to speak to my husband that it was time for him to pursue the calling He has placed upon his life. In every possible way, God confirmed his word to Travis and to myself. We quit our job and began raising money to make a record in Charlotte,NC. Since then, God has begun to open doors for my husband to minister with these gifts. We are currently starting a ministry. Not only have we just finished a major record which was expensive, we also have to pay the bills.


Many would not and do not understand this leap of faith. We see, though how God orders our steps. Last year He began preparing us financially and spiritually for this leap. As ambassadors for an organization that required we raise our own salary, we saw months without pay and God rescue us time and time again. It was never how we imagined it, but He did it! On one instance we were down to one diaper. We found one in the closet floor and later that same day, God gave us $50 to buy the food and diapers we needed. He then asked us to give the rest to our neighbor. We later found out they did not have money for dinner that night. His ways are higher than ours.


Spiritually, God took our pastor through a series of sermons on transition and positioning into our destiny. The food of God's word fed us many sleepless nights. He also led us to the passage in Matthew chapter 6 when Jesus says to not worry about what you will eat or drink or wear. He told us not to worry about tomorrow. The Lord told us to take it day by day. We did, sometimes reluctantly, and He provided the manna from heaven. We were in training for this time.


Of course we are fought with fear. The voice of fear says, "you are in over your heads." "It's too deep, you are going to drown." "By the way, you looked pretty silly jumping in....belly buster."


Then we hear another voice. A voice in the water we are submerged in. The voice of faith. "Yes, you are in over your heads." "Yes, it is deep, but you are surrounded by the presence of the living God and He is water to your soul." "You may have looked silly to them, but you did it. You dove head first!!!"


I pray that in the physical, I will face my fear and dive head first this summer. I know it will be scary. I also know that once it is done, I will be free....even if a crowd is watching and laughing at my belly bust. I am going to do it. In fact I'm going to do it in front of a crowd, even if they laugh. I am going to dive in head first at Royal Family Kid's Camp and show some kids that they too can face their fears!

The Princess and The Poo

           Green and brown plastic army men and a headless Barbie are staring at me now.  Well, sort of.  I would like to say that I am writing from a clean, organized desk. However, that is not the case.  A lunch box, umbrella cover and pack of gum are just a few of the items I must choose to look over as I type these words on my computer screen. I would not have it any other way.

            Being a mother of toddlers is challenging, exhausting and all together exhilarating.  I walked into the room today and knew my 22 month old son was into something he should not have been.  I could see it on his face.  He looked as if he was eating something and I asked him what it was.  He was holding something up for me to see. As he placed what was in his little fist into my hand, I realized …it was poo.  Yes, poo!  He had decided he would clean out his diaper and wipe his hand off on the television stand.  Tonight, all I can do is smile.  I love him so much.

            Yesterday, my little girl was able to have her dreams come true.  Someone gave us free tickets to see “Disney on Ice.”  It was about an hour drive and we decided to tell her that we were going on a family date, but she had to wait to find out where we were going.  On the drive, she began to tell us that today was a special day for her friend, Kaitlin.  She was going to see princesses skate on ice.  She told us that she wished she could go too.  I looked at my husband and could hardly contain myself!  When we arrived at the mall adjacent to the arena, there were little princesses everywhere.  Ana asked, ‘Why are all the little girls dressed up? Why am I not dressed up?”  We sat her down and told her that she was going to get to dress up too.  We reached into a bag and pulled out her very own princess dress and matching tiara.

            The show was mesmerizing to her.  Her big eyes were glued to the show with an occasional eruption in applause and a hand over her mouth when the princesses would finally meet the prince.  At one point, she could no longer hide her excitement and put her little arm around my neck and hugged me as if to say, “AAHHHHHHHHHHHH…thank you!”

            The truth was that I was as excited as she, if not more.  I remember looking at my husband at one point as tears gathered in our eyes.  We were so thankful to a God who was mindful of us and our little princess. At a time when it was financially not possible for us to take our baby girl to Disney World, He gave her the desires of her heart and brought the experience to her.

            Lately, I have been thinking about our Father’s love for us, His children.  It does not matter if we are as pretty as a princess or playing in poo, He loves us unconditionally.  In fact, He almost cannot contain Himself when He blesses us with those little surprises.  Judah did not have to clean up his own poo and Ana did not have to wear her princess dress in order to attend the ball.   So why is it that we big people think we have to clean ourselves before He will accept us or twist and turn in performance to win His approval?

            So many times I have made my walk with Jesus feel like a walk on a tight rope or balance beam.  If I make one wrong move, it will all be over.  He knows we will trip on occasion.  He will be there to catch us and clean us up. He is there to dress us and dance with us if we will follow His lead.  He is not concerned as much about the steps we are taking as He is about us trusting Him as He holds us close.

            Right now, my Ana is waking with a bad dream.  As her mother, I want to take it away.  She is the apple of my eye.  I can hold her, sing over her and speak soothing words to her. As long as she is asleep, she will not even realize I am there.  However, when the princess awakens, she will know she is safe and loved.

            Daughters of God, mothers of His babies, let Him speak to you tonight.  You are the apple of His eye.  He loves you in your poo and in your sparkles.  And this day, He is soothing you with these words, “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17

Good morning, My princess, it is time to wake up and know you are safe and loved.