My Resolution for 2016....

As we journey into a new year, we are longing for change.  Maybe you have goals for your health, finances, or to check off items on your bucket list.  We make plans, and hope that we can have the perseverance to develop habits.  Some of us "good boys and girls" read books, start journals,  and buy a new weight loss programs.  Others, just hope to survive another year.

We reach for control...Self-control to make the necessary changes.  But then we find ourselves needing control, when we simply cannot do it all.

Some broadcast their resolutions in hope that the accountability will help, while others don't tell a soul from fear of failure.  And then, there are those who again just hope to survive yet another year.

Last Sunday, I heard a message at church about Ruth's commitment, a concept few of us internalize. Her husband dies and she had a choice to go back home.  Yet, she left her family, her gods, and her ways to follow her mother in law to only God knows where.  Interesting story, huh? She even risked being beaten to pick up remnants of wheat in a field.  But she was committed, and eventually rewarded with the great love of Boaz.

I wonder if in her new year resolutions, she planned to make changes, get a job, and throw herself at  a man's feet...literally (Ruth 3).  Wouldn't a man make it all a little easier?  Talk about making oneself available!

Yet, my inclination is that Ruth wasn't planning a new life or a new start when she chose to stay with Niaomi.  I believe she was just trying to survive.  She was doing the next thing, taking the next best step.  She found herself being faithful, taking care of her mil, working hard, and stumbled (more like fainted from exhaustion) at the feet of the one who could change everything for her.

Yesterday, we watched the movie, "Joy".  It is a movie about the lady who designed the ringer mop, and velvet hangers.  To my surprise, I found this movie to be quite inspiring.  Joy was surviving, a single mom with her x husband and dad living in the basement, and her psycho mom watching soap operas all day long.  For 17 years she was hidden behind survival, and taking care of everyone else. She was faithfully committed, and then life landed her flat on her back.  It was at her break down moment, that she had a brilliant idea.  One that would completely leave her bankrupt at one point, but changed everything.  Her invention of the ringer mop landed her on QVC and HSN, and she didn't give up!

There was a scene in the movie where she had just gotten back her money after a case of fraud, and the narrator talks about how she didn't know what good would follow her as she walked down the street that day.  After all of her hardship, she had been rewarded. Yet, I doubt Joy was making her list of new years resolutions during her bankruptcy.  She just got up and kept walking.


Don't you love stories like these?

The faithful one is rewarded.

Isn't it true that even the thought of the reward or a dream can motivate us toward commitment?  What I find interesting though, is that in both of these stories, the ladies didn't even know what they were fighting for.  Sure, Joy knew she had a mop in her hand, and Ruth knew Boaz could help her.  But, they had no way of knowing it would turn out as beautifully as it did.  They just kept walking.  They just kept being faithful with what they had in their hand.

I am a planner and would love to know what God had in store for our family right about now.  Especially with the both of us unemployed in a few short days.  I would want to hope that my dreams would come true this year, and Travis's would too.  But honestly, we don't have a clue what will happen.  We don't know what to do with what is in our hands (our writing, our music).  We feel as if we have been knocked down (bankrupt like Joy), but we will get up and keep walking.  I want to hope that one day, we will end up at a "happily ever after" moment.  One thing I know for sure, is that it will not happen like I planned it out in my head. It never does...

Are you there?  Disillusioned? Faint of heart? Hoping to stumble into something half-way good.

We know how it feels.  We are there.

But somehow, because we have Christ, we have a hope.  The other day I remembered a passage of scripture:

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 

In the middle of this hard season, I know I can trust God to bring us through it better and stronger.  I may be knocked down, but I'm not knocked out.  I hope that this coming year will be a year that I can get back up on my feet to victory.

If I had a verse that stuck with me in 2015, it would have been this one....

I had it on my desk at work, and now it is posted on my fridge. I realized this in so many ways  in 2015.   We made so many plans for church and work this year.  I had no idea that it would all end as it did.  Yet, the Lord's purpose prevailed.  We planned events, and made business plans, and even had vision planning meetings, just to have it end.  Seems strange, even a little sad, huh?  At times it seems like our work was in vain.  Yet, we know we are not destroyed.  His joy comes in the morning.  The lessons we have learned about life and faith linger, and we get back up again.

In 2016, I plan on starting an exercise and health program, I plan on writing, I plan to be a better mom.  Yet, it is possible that my plans will leave me flat on my back...again.  And when they do, I will look up.

This year, I choose to accept what I cannot change.   I will get up. I will keep walking.  I will do my best to be committed when I don't feel it, and faithful when I am scared to death, and maybe just maybe, something amazing will come of it all.  I have to believe.

Will you join me? It may not end up like we thought it would, but I promise His purpose will be better than any plan or resolution we could ever make!!!

Checkpoint

The dark of night, and a thousand red and blue lights ahead.  To the best of my recollection, my mom begrudgingly pulled her license and registration from her purse, and slowly proceeded further.  Never having been behind a wheel or through a checkpoint, my heart began to pound for her.  What was going on ahead?  It looked horrible.  Were our seat belts on?  Would they make us get out of the car? 

My mom rolled down her window, presented her information to the officer and he said to her, “thank you, don’t drink and drive.”  She pulled forward and explained to my adolescent self that they were looking for drunk drivers. It was a mandatory checkpoint.

Shew! That was a scary experience for a preteen.  On the other hand, I was glad they were there.  First of all, they could have caught someone breaking the law and justice would have been served.  Secondly, that was a scary part of town to drive through at night with just the two of us. It was nice to know that we were surrounded by those who could protect us if needed.  Thirdly, I realized that the checkpoint could have saved a life.    After that experience, I was grateful.  Once we drove through, it was not as scary as it had seemed before I knew what we were getting into.

All day, the word, “checkpoint” has been on my mind.  It is the weirdest thing.  I told Travis, I felt like I was supposed to write about it, yet had no idea what I was going to say. I even looked up it’s meaning in the dictionary to see if it gave me any clarity. God speaks to me in weird ways sometimes, so I knew if it was important, it would come to me when i needed it to. 

Lying in bed tonight, I had a random thought, and out of nowhere I know what it all means, and why I am to write.  It is where I am.  It is where many of you are tonight. 

At the checkpoint.

Where we are is a dark and scary place.  We are at a complete stop in life, and have no control of anything whatsoever.  What we see ahead seems like danger and chaos.  It is unknown to us, and we speculate. We feel anxiety rise up our bodies to our heads, and our brains take over, imagining the worst-case scenario, the worst possible outcome.

It is here that we have to do a few things…

1. We have to wait.  Ugh…I hate waiting!!!  My mom hates it, and her dad hated it too.  Patience does not run in this family.  It was left out of my DNA.  I want to know what lies ahead.  I want security.  I want to be safe.  I need control, and I do not want to be at the mercy of someone else. Get me out of the passenger seat and behind the wheel!!!

But this step is vital to getting through the mandatory checkpoint.  We are where we are for a reason, and we cannot turn around now. We are at the disposal of an authority greater than our own, and we have to trust that someone with more knowledge than us, knows what he or she is doing.

First, we have to link arms with those beside us, who have been here before.  We have to lean on those trusted people in our lives who are by our side, praying for us when we are scared to death. 

Second, we have to trust God.  He has all the authority and to take care of us and protect us from all harm. He will tell us what to do when we get there.

2. It is here that we have to get out our identity.  The documents my mom got out proved two things: who she was; and what belonged to her.  When we are at a checkpoint in our lives, we have to remember who we are.  We are children of the King.  We were put here on this earth for such a time as this.  God has a future and a hope for all of his children.  We were here to serve Him and point people to him.  We have to believe that, even when it looks dark.

We also have to know what we own…we have everything we need in Christ.  He is our provision.  We cannot look into the rear view mirror of fear. We have to look straight ahead, and into the mirror of God’s word and believe that we have everything we need that pertains to life and godliness. We are God’s, but He is also ours.  We are in Him, and that is the safest, most secure place on earth to be.

3.  Moving forward can only be done after obedience.  We have to roll down our window, present our identities and possessions to God, and do what He says.  His job is to get us through this season; our job is to push the gas when (and only when) He says go! 

The truth is…

We will come to the other side of the checkpoint. 

·      …With a little more patience

We will have more understanding because we have been there now.

·      As a result of this experience, we will be able to help someone in the future who is sitting where we once were

 We will be appreciative for God’s protection and instruction through it. 

·      We will trust Him more and fear less

 And finally…we will move forward, past the stopping point.  This place will be behind us soon enough, but until it is, we must rest assured that it is all gonna be okay!

Proverbs 3:5-6English Standard Version (ESV)

5 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

    and do not lean on your own understanding.

6 

In all your ways acknowledge him,

    and he will make straight your paths.

Dealing with Disappointment

Scars, wounds, shattered dreams, unfulfilled promises, messed up plans...Disappointment. 

We have all been there before.  Our expectations get the best of us, and we are down for the count before we know it.  You expected to get that promotion, go on that trip, have Thanksgiving meal with that family member.  Don't forget to mention that you worked so hard to make it perfect, just for it all to fall apart.

Ugh! I am disappointed at talking about these disappointments.

Some disappointments make us upset, but we soon realize that it all works out in the end, and we shouldn't have gotten in such a tizzy over it after all.

However, sometimes disappointment goes much, much deeper... into our souls.  It seeps into the crevices of our heart and comes out our mouths in explosions of anger, or from our eyes in weeping of tears. Sometimes, the disappointment is too much to handle.

The loved one has taken their last breath, and you had plans for the future.

The husband walks out on you, and you don't know what you did wrong, or what you could do to make it right.

The bills roll in, and debt gets higher, and before you know what hit you, you are bankrupt in so many ways.

Sometimes, disappoinment comes in waves from behind, and you are gasping for breath between the  blows.

We are left disillusioned, disheartened, sad, and empty.

There is no easy, quick fix for it.  There is no recipe for getting back above water.  Mostly, time heals. I do know that everyone grieves differently and it is okay.  However,  I have realized through life's disappointments a couple of valuable lessons that I would like to share in hope that it might help someone.

  My first piece of advice would be to let disappointment come, and express it physically;cry, scream, run, sleep, laugh.  Do whatever works for you, but please let it out. Talk to a friend. Pray to God. Sing. But, do not hold it in. Each time you do, a brick will pile on top of another, and a wall will build inside your heart.  A wall that is very hard to break.  It is okay to be broken, to allow yourself to feel, to allow others to feel.  It is healthy for the soul.

Secondly, do not believe this is all your fault.  You may not have had the desired outcome and your expectations may not have been met, but this does not mean it was or is entirely your fault. As my momma says," If the shoe fits, wear it.  If it does not, do not put it on." You may have made mistakes, or taken wrong actions, but life happens.  In the same manner, you cannot carry the weight of the what if's...What if I had done this or that or said this or that?  Then...it would have had a different outcome. Nor should you carry the weight of other people's bad decisions. Living in regret and replaying scenarios and conversations only makes one look inward.  You weren't meant to carry this weight. Turn around and love on someone.  Somehow that will bring salve and a little relief to your wounds, and theirs too.

 Finally,you must know that when the grief of disappointment passes,  there will be a time to hope again.  This is okay.  To hope does not mean you will forget the past. Do not feel guilty for hoping again. It is all part of your story.  Sharing your life disappointments and journey with others can help others work through theirs.  Turning the page to the "Hope" chapter is just that, a chapter of your story that is beautifully written for you, and for those who read the pages of your life. 

As a result of embracing life's disappointments,  one can be free to embrace the season of hope when it comes. The good times will be a little sweeter.  This time, your expectations will be different,.  You will not hope in your plans, but in Hope itself. Mostly, you will be able to rise above the waves so that when the next wave of disappointment comes (and that is inevitable), you will be able to hold the hand of someone going under and pull them through to safety.






  

All of God's Grace in one Tiny Face

Today is my first day officially not working since Joshie was 8 weeks old.  Thankfully, I worked at a day care and was able to see my baby several times a day, nurse him there, and watch him interact with other children.  

I will say that it has been nice having him home with me today.  We are still in our pjs and as he naps, I write....a skill I did not master with my first child.   Today, I had the privilege of rocking him (until he decided to explore).  I can hardly believe he will be two in a little over a month!

Being a mom has taught me so much about life.  I could go on and on.  However, with the birth of my third child, something was awakened in me.  I want to share, because it is beautiful.

When I first became pregnant with Joshua, I had a dream that our family was looking for one of our children.  In that dream, I was pushing an empty blue stroller (the stroller Joshie would fill:). At the end of the dream, the face of fear appeared before me, and I put my hand in the face as if to say "No!", and woke up.   I awoke from that dream feeling as if I was going to have a boy (because of the stroller), but since it had been 7 years since having a girl, I thought I could convince myself I was having a girl. So I told no one of the dream until after my ultrasound.

I am so glad I had Joshie! With his birth, my dreams came true. I am thrilled he is a boy, and mommy's boy he is! He has brought me so much joy.  In fact, there have been times that I honestly felt like giving up on everything, and that little face reminded me that I could not.

See Joshua was not planned by me, but he was not an accident.  He was made by God on purpose.  He came in spite of my plans to plan my next pregnancy.  I literally heard the words while he was in my belly, "ready or not, here I come." And with that head full of red hair, and spunky personality, he has not stopped since.

What I learned with his birth was that it is okay to not be in control.

I have always been a planner.  In fact, Travis used to hang his head every Sunday night when I decided we needed a weekly planning meeting. I like to know what is coming and although I am not always great at follow-through, at least I am in control of what might happen. Planning is not a bad thing, but when your plan controls you, it becomes a stress on everyone around you. This had happened in our home.

Sometimes trusting God is more about letting go than holding on. My clinched fists kept me from holding tight to God's hand, because I was holding on to mine.

So I think, what if my plans had worked out?  What if I had not put my hand up in the face of fear?  What if there was no Joshie?  How would my life be different? 

Thank God He was gracious to me. Each time I look at Joshie's face, I am reminded of that grace.   I realize that God's plans are ALWAYS greater than mine.  I can trust His plans, His thoughts, and His ways. I am so glad my fists are no longer clinched by control, and I'm secretly singing, "Let it Go!"

Isaiah 55:8 says:


"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD.  "And my ways are far 

beyond anything you could imagine."

Regarding Church Hurt

I honestly cannot believe that I am writing this.  In fact, I am not sure what I'm going to say at all.  But for some reason, I feel prompted by the Holy Spirit to share from the depths of my heart on an issue many people have faced at some point, and many people I know are facing now.  First of all, let me clear the air and say that I may not understand everything that is happening in our current situation, although that could drive me crazy if I let it.  I have learned through experience, not to even try to figure it out.

I don't know a lot of Greek, or science, or math.  But I KNOW about church hurt.

  I have been here so very many times.  I have watched people be people.  And I have watched people hurt people.  I have seen leaders fail, and attenders gossip.  I have seen people who love God very much walk away from church all together.  I have seen families divided, and witnessed how tragedy can bring us all back together.

The hurt goes deep, the questions are many, the confusion is rampant.  I have experienced the grief that seems to flood a community of believers after the death of a dream.

I get it. 

BUT...

In these moments, we all have a choice to make.  Will we hold on to bitterness as current experiences bring up hurt  and open wounds from the past?  OR will we choose to agree to disagree, dust off our feet, and move forward?

I want to share with you a few practical ways to deal with church hurt as learned from experience...

1.  The word of God tells us that above all else, we are to guard our hearts.  It also is clear about us making sure we are taking care of the ones we love the most...our families.  Do what is best for your family.  Seek God about it. Ask Him, are we to go?  Are we to stay?  Who are we serving, God or man? Choose to be the priest of your home and teach and train your children as you walk through this together. Think about the impact your words will make on the next generation. They are watching how you handle this.  

2.  Secondly, be thankful.  Remember the good things the Lord has done in the past.  Were lives changed?  Did people come to know Christ through this ministry?  Were the hungry fed?  Did your children enjoy going to church? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, than you have something to be thankful for.  Talk about these memories with your family, look at pictures, laugh as you remember how you walked through life together doing kingdom work with these people.

3.  Cling to God's word and get in his presence.  Sing in your car.  Write scripture on your walls.  Cry and scream out to him, and let him heal you.  Be real before Him.  Instead of gossip, send your friend a verse.  Even yesterday a friend from church sent me the verse,  found in Psalm 16...and this morning as my mother in law spent time in God's presence, she was instructed to send us the same verses:

I will praise the Lord who counsels me
Even at night my heart instructs me
I have set the LORD always before me.  
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.  
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
My body also will rest secure

4. This is a big one I have had to learn the hard way.  Go to the source.  If you have questions about things that are said or how they are handled, go to the one who said the words (even if it is the pastor).  Use the Biblical model found in Matthew 18.  Don't use the questions you have as a means to gossip and give your opinion.  Those who may not know Christ or have a personal relationship with him do not understand your venting. 

5.  Finally, remember that there is an enemy that wants to kill, steal and destroy you, your pastor, and the kingdom of God.  He is the one who brings division and confusion. Instead of choosing a side, choose to repent for any wrongs you have done, and sincerely and boldly approach the throne of grace for God's help.  

James 3:16-18 says:

16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Choose to be a peace maker.  Forgive....even if what others do is not right.   Don't even give the enemy the satisfaction he wants.  Praise God! Blast the music.  Choose thoughts that are in alignment with the word of God.  The enemy won't stay around if you do that!

In conclusion, I will say that although I know that doing the things above will help, I by no means have mastered the above suggestions. Please pray for us.  We need to pray for one another, our leadership, our community.  We are the church and the world needs us to "be" the church whether we have a building or not. Keep your chin up and remember His unending love for each of you!

Let Me Hear Your Voice

Let Me Hear Your Voice

You have a voice that needs to be heard. That voice needs to be heard, even if “they” do not agree with what your voice has to say.

Fear of man will silence your voice, as will fear of failure.

But, God gave you a voice with the intent for you to speak out, on what matters.

Your voice can make a difference.

Speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.

- Proverbs 31:8

Sing loudly for all to hear.

A few years ago, I could have lost my voice, for good. I had been diagnosed with Tracheal Stenosis.  My airway was growing up with scar tissue.  I couldn’t breath, and I often lost my voice. The surgery that corrected this problem could have caused damage to my vocal cords, and resulted in a tracheotomy. Thankfully, I had a good doctor, one of the best at John’s Hopkins University.  He knew I used my voice quite a bit, and that I was a ventriloquist.  He carefully guarded those vocal cords and thankfully, I came out of surgery able to breath and talk again.

I remember a text from my cousin the day of surgery.  She told me that Satan had tried to steal my voice, but he was unsuccessful. 

This past year, I have found my voice again. This time, I am not talking about my physical voice, but the one that the world needs to hear. An intense battle with fear almost resulted in the stealing of my voice by Satan once again.

As a boss at my job, I have to make serious decisions that affect the lives of others.  I have to think first about the children I have been entrusted with, and speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves (those children).  Because of this responsibility, that I do not take lightly, I sometimes have to make decisions that make others mad at me.  As a people pleaser, this is hard for me.  I want everyone to like me, but I know as a leader, this is not always going to happen. Coming to terms with this reality almost caused me to lose my mind and many nights of sleep!

There was one particular day that I had to let an employee go from our company.  It was a hard day for me.  However, as I drove home that day, a song I had never heard began to play…. the lyrics made me cry, sob in fact.

The song was written by Steffany Gretzinger and is titled “I Spoke Up.”

Every knows that

I was the good girl

I did my best to

Make everyone happy with me

Then I found out that

It was impossible to please

The whole crowd

So I spoke up and I spoke out

I learned that love don't hold its tongue

And passion doesn't bow to what they think

It's you and me

Sometimes it's painful to be brave

To look fear in the face and know your name

To find your strength

Sometimes doing what God has asked of you requires great sacrifice, and many sleepless nights. Because what God sometimes requires of us is more about Him and growing others, than our own personal comfort.

I have always tried to be an encourager. I have always chosen to see the best in others.  Maybe that’s naive, maybe even a little stupid.  But, until I became a boss, it worked for me. 

Now that God has entrusted me with this job, I have a choice to make.  I could continue to not rock the boat, or I could risk my reputation in order to have the best atmosphere for the children I am entrusted with.  I know that as a leader, I have the responsibility to build a good team.  This team must be in unity. 

Therefore, I have to have the hard conversations.  Do I like them? No.  This is the worst part of my job. However, I am the one God has chosen to do it.  As as long as I am here, I will depend on Him to give me the strength to do what is naturally hard for me, but in the long run will enable others to be the best God has created them to be.

I have found that giving tough love (saying things that may hurt feelings, but grow souls) is only helping others in the long run.  They may not like it, or me, but at the end of the day, I need to know I’ve spoken up and done my best to please God. If I do my job in love, they grow. 

I have had to give last warnings to employees, and in return watched them make the choice to change. As a result, I have watched them truly blossom.  Speaking up has caused them to be all God has created them to be, and in return helped me to come alive. 

A few months ago, I discovered this verse…

O my dove, in the crannies of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.

Song of Songs 2:14

And so I stand, on the cliff, so afraid to fall.  And He wants to see my face and hear my voice. 

I said earlier that sometimes what God requires of us is more about Him and growing others, and less about our own personal comfort.  Having tough conversations face to face with others is very uncomfortable to me.  Typing to a computer screen somehow seems easier.  Because of this very reason, I have struggled with whether writing was also part of God’s plan for me.  I enjoy writing more than I enjoy firing, lol. 

Yet, I absolutely feel fulfilled leading, and I absolutely feel fulfilled writing.

So I realized that I saw God as tyrannical and not giving me the desires of my heart, because I enjoyed them.  Having the right motives is crucial, but being afraid of not having them, is binding.

If I keep quiet, the rocks will cry out.

There are too many people out there who need us to speak up.  For me, I need to speak up for the broken, my single mom friends, my over-worked and worn out co-mommies, those young girls whom God has called me to mentor, those who have struggling marriages, those who are battling with anxiety, those whose children have special needs….

I cannot keep quiet any longer.  I am bursting inside. 

Thus…I share my Voice.

And you?

What is your passion?  What is God requiring of you?  Who do you need to speak up for?

Is it for sex trafficking, abortion, or missions?  What about adoption, healthy living, or refugees?

Please do not wait any longer. The reason you are passionate about these things, is because He has put that passion within you.  Don’t let fear steal your voice. We need to hear it.  It might help us grow.

Let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet!

Mommies Unite...and STOP Playing Games!

It's the game all the mommies play.  

It's called, "Let's Compare, and feel like Crap!"  Since day one of finding out I was expecting my first child, I started comparing myself to other moms.  You too?  Read on...  

Attention: Sarcasm may be prevalent, so do not take literally!

Let's Compare, and Feel Like Crap!

Official Game Rules and Recommendations

1.   Several teams may play at once, but each team member must agree that their team's way of playing is   'right' and ONLY way to play.

2.   In order to intimidate the other team, you must make short and jabbing comments, stare down the other team's members, and brag on your skills.

3.  This game appeals to all personality types:

      For those who are ' center of attention' types, there will be plenty of opportunities to let your momma bear roar, breast feed in public, and tell everyone how perfect your little one is. You can be the designated one who will act out any scenes that need further explanation.

     For those 'organized' ones, there is plenty of space for you to chime in with detailed explanations of your scheduled nap times, organic pureed foods, computer labeled sippy cups, and 7 pm bed time routines. Don't worry, you will be the one to read the directions to your team member.

     For those who are "laid back"moms, we have plenty of props you may use; a leash for your child, a penny you can finger swipe out of your child's mouth, and milk you can let sit as long as you would like in the supplied sippy cup. Don't worry, we'll watch your kid while you play.

And Finally, for all you 'visual learners'; bring your flash drives, and iPhones, because there will be plenty of opportunities to show off those family pictures to your friends.  You can tell about your vacations, and show off those pretty hair bows, and your perfect marriage... all while deceiving the other team!


Disclaimer:

   Please note that it is a possibility that you could be voted off of your team at any time for any of the following reasons:

1. You break down crying because you can't take the pressure
2. You give birth to too many children while you are playing
3. If you have a civil conversation with other team's members

Winning the Game:

The winning team is determined by the latest fads, and are subject to change with each raging hormone.

Seriously....

I don't know about you, but I have been trapped in this never ending game for 8 years.  Some of you may have just joined, and others quit playing a long time ago.

I think I have played on every possible team and been crushed by them all as well.

As a mom of three, a previous children's pastor, and a day care director, I have seen this game played so well, by so many of us.

And the truth is...none of us want to play anymore, but we are too scared to say so.

So...we "Compare...and Feel Like Crap!"

Please forgive me for not being more tactful, but I think this is one of the main problems we encounter....

Using Tact!

It starts with all the advice when you are pregnant and puking, and continues as we decide what type of schooling we chose for our children.  Why do we feel like our way is the best way, the only way? And why do we HAVE to ALWAYS say something?

What worked for you, may not work for other mommies..and THAT'S OK!

As a newly expecting mom, I wanted to do what was best for my baby.  So, I read all the books, "What to "Fear" When You are Expecting", "Baby 'Wise...while losing my mind," and "Supernatural Epideral."  Okay, well the books were something like that.  

I felt overwhelmed, and incapable.  Oh, and really, really tired.... So tired that the noise from my breast pump would cause me to repeat words in my head over and over again in the middle of the night.

I didn't need advice. And I surely didn't need to compare myself to you!

 What I needed was...

• a hug from my mommy
• ladies at my Bible study who took the time to pray for postpartum depression to leave me 
• my friend, Heidi (wonderful mother of 4) telling me to throw the books away and trust the Holy Spirit
• and a sweet verse hidden away in the middle of the Bible, and pointed out to my by my friend and co-new mom, Tabitha, that read..."He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young" (Isaiah 40:11).

Girls, we need each other to STOP playing games, and UNITE!  

Girlfriend, STOP comparing yourself to other mommies...none of us have it figured out, and never will.

Ladies, encourage each other.  We may be different, but one thing is the same....

We all love our babies!

This is the beauty of motherhood

  

And the sooner we realize this, the sooner we will realize that we all WIN!!!