Truth or Lie??

Can you imagine being told you were the one chosen to carry the son of God in your womb…as a preteen?!  Okay, so at age 12, you were making the cheer squad, getting your first kiss, and learning how to survive school without getting into a catfight with another hormone raging girlfriend. Many of us women just wanted to make our parents proud by making the honor roll.  Mary had to carry the One who would save the world!  That’s a little bit of pressure.

So it is suggested that Mary could have been that young. She was a sweet little virgin girl chosen by God to bear His son, the hope of the world.  She obviously loved and feared her God, and I’m sure her parents had high hopes for her and that Joseph boy she was betrothed to.

Until…

She got pregnant.

That poor baby!!! Yes, Mary.  She was just a baby.  Not only was she staring into the face of an angel whose words sent shock through her entire being, she had to face her parents and relatives who would in no way believe this over- imaginative and dramatic girl’s story.  

Then there was the boyfriend.  What would he say or do?  Would he leave her or stick by her side? In Matthew’s account, Joseph contemplated “putting her away” or divorcing her for her infidelity until thankfully the angel appeared to him. All because of her, his reputation would be at stake for the rest of his life. I am picturing her lying in her bed crying her little eyes out. How overwhelming and stressful to even think about!!

Yet my mind settles on a verse.

Luke 1:38

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. '"May it be to me as you have said."

What???!!!

Everyone she knew had to have been judging her.  How bad that must have hurt, especially coming from the ones she loved the most.  Yet, her love for her God was greater than her desire for the approval of man. She could have allowed their stares and words to keep her from obeying her God, yet she walked with her son all the way to the cross.

She was God’s servant. 

I looked up the Greek word for “servant” in this verse. The word, “doule,” is defined as “ a slave or one who gives himself up wholly to another’s will.”

Facing the fear of losing the approval of so many, she believed the word God spoke to her and gave herself entirely to his will while I’m sure she was at battle with her own.

In the book of Luke, Mary immediately visited her cousin Elizabeth. Thank goodness for sweet Elizabeth!!  Also pregnant, her baby leaped in her womb as Mary greeted her.  “Blessed” is the word Elizabeth used to describe Mary because of her belief in God’s word (vs.45). “Blessed”…are you kidding me???

Mary referred to herself as a “lowly servant” later on in chapter one and she sings a song about the mighty things God has done for her.

What wisdom and maturity. I’m not sure I could have emotionally handled that…especially in the days before chocolate!!!

I was thinking of her story and asking what I could learn from her and share with you.

Some of us, like Mary, have been labeled by those we love. We have lived with labels because of mistakes we have made and lived with false labels as well.

Some of us, like Mary, are holding on to promises from God. Until Mary felt that baby kick her in the ribs, she only had a word to hold onto.  Maybe you are at a place where you do not “feel” God. His word is all you have.

Some of us, like Mary, have been tempted to wear those labels and give up on our babies (dreams).

Speaking of temptation, my mind goes to Eve's story. Eve was another woman presented with a choice to believe a word.  An angel also appeared to her, but this fallen angel, satan himself, twisted God's word.  He asked Eve what God had told her and then said, "Did God really say...?"  He presented her with a question and as she analyzed, he decieved and she believed the lie.  She felt God was holding out on her.
 

The question is, will you like Eve, believe the lie that God is holding out on you? Or will you believe, like Mary, that God’s word stands above all else? Mary talked to an angel.  SHE KNEW THE TRUTH no matter what any one else said.

James 1:22-25

²² But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. ²³ For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. ²⁴ You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. ²⁵ But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.

May we choose to look carefully at the truth of God's word.
 

When you fail, His word remains.  When others give up on you, His word remains.  Let’s ask ourselves each time we are faced with the choice to believe the lies or give up on the dreams, “What is the truth?”

Recently, I have been battling insecurity in my role as a wife and mother.  I have compared myself with others and have many times “felt” like a failure. Normally, I would just accept that as truth.  Yet, today I am challenged once again to know the truth of God’s word. 

His word says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” His word says “ I am hidden in Christ” so even if I mess up, his grace is enough to cover me.  His word says, “ I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus…yes, my righteousness is as filthy rags on my own, but "I am not my own, I am bought with a price!!"  "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" WHOOOO!

That will preach!!

You know God’s voice.  You may not always feel it, but when you go to his word, when you recall when he first gave you the dream or changed your name… something has to leap in your spirit!

Like Mary, you are blessed among women…and that is the gospel truth!

Luke 1:45

Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord.

My 3 year old warrior and my 6 year old princess!

I taught pre-school today, on Halloween.  I watched as dressed up superheros battled and shot their webs. Little girls in pink danced around them singing high pitched notes while flapping their butterfly wings.  My heart smiled.

What is that nursery rhyme...the one where little boys are made of puppy dog tails and girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice?

I am so blessed to have 2 children, a boy and a girl, a princess and a warrior.  She dances, he fights.  She squeals, he rescues. At ages 6 and 3, it is literal. And boy, can they fight!!

Although my little girl can hold her own in a wrestling match and my little boy is sweet and sensitive, at their core...my little girl needs to be held close and my little boy needs to be let go.

I cringed the other day as I felt the need to let Judah kill a bug.  Yuck!  He was so proud to fllush it down the toilet as he proclaimed, "I killed it!"

The whiney-squealy (and in Ana's case- low and gutty) voice of a pop star can send chills up my spine- yet the sparkles and hairbrush microphone coupled with her dreams of stardom make it bearable--even intriguing to watch.

There are days when I feel I'll explode if I hear the word "mommy" one more time.  There are days when I can't force food down them or poop out of them.  I get so tired and have to make myself stay awake to spend time with their hero daddy.

Yet, in those times, I am reminded of a scary labor and delivery.  Her heart rate was dropping and they kept having to tell me to stop pushing. The cord was double-wrapped around her neck. It was in that moment I gave her back to Him and thanked him for letting me have her for a little while on earth.  It was His peace I felt in that moment, and I knew He would take good care of her.

I remember a dream I had while pregnant with Judah- a dream of him in his twenties waking up an army of outcasts to join God's army in battle.

I wonder what I'm doing wrong on the nights when my kids do not want to pray and what I am doing right on mornings like this morning when my 3 year old prayed, "God, help mommy and daddy and sissy and me today, Amen."  --Or yesterday, when I walked in on both of them sitting at a table of play food taking turns saying what they were thankful for and praying over their pretend Thanksgiving meal.

It is a season.  From what I've heard, it will pass fast.  My sister-in-law recently reminded me that in this season, the days will seem long, but the years will be short.  I want to cherish where I am, even though I'm tired.

So, today I challenge you - as I also challenge me,

To take a step back from the superheros and popstars, princesses and trains, hitting and squealing...
and see God's little princess and God's little warrior, the miracles He has given you for just a short while on earth.

Jesus, the chief cornerstone

Recently, I sat with a friend who knows all about watching her child suffer.  This child has been through so much in his little 4 years.  After several surgeries, misdiagnoses, and many dollars in doctor bills, this child was diagnosed with Lyme's disease.  For a period of a couple years, he even stopped growing. Thankfully, someone saw his need for help and he is on the road to recovery and healing. 

This mom told me of a doctor who is giving special care to her child. He asked her questions about what developmental steps the child had taken as a baby. This child unfortunately missed out on many of the foundational steps he needed to grow upon. Sensory processing delays in eating and speech developed as a result.  Thankfully, this doctor is helping him go back and lay the foundation he missed out on as a baby.  He is following objects with his eyes, crawling, and working on other motor skills.  As a result of this therapy, he is progressing and talking in sentences now. He is accelerating quickly because someone saw a need to go back and dot the " i's" and cross the "t's" so to speak.

Something turned in my spirit as I talked with her that day.  At the age of 32, I am feeling a need to grow up.  Not only am I searching for answers from God, but deciding who I am and what I really believe. I have been in church my entire life.  I functioned and sometimes successfully. But I came to a point where my spiritual growth was at a stand-still. I could no longer move forward.  Yes, I experienced God. I saw His spirit move on many occasions and was even used by Him to speak encouraging words to others or pray fancy prayers.  I could do church and religion, but in my heart, I was hurting.   I stopped growing.

I realized that day that what I had missed out on was my spiritual foundation.  For those of you who became a believer in Christ later on in life, you were able to start new.  I know that it may have been hard at times to leave your old life behind, but at the same time, I am sure that you felt freedom from the pain it caused as well.

In my case, it was quite different.  I grew up knowing Jesus.  I was so small that I cannot recall an age or date that I gave my life to Christ.  I grew up around christians and was emmersed in a culture of church functions and activities. I got my worth from being good and doing good. I could quote scriptures and tell others about my faith.  But I never needed or appreciated or acknowledged my need for grace...until I could not live up to the perfection I expected myself to attain.  Thank God He sent me crashing at his feet.

I need Jesus.

I cannot do this on my own any more.



The good Doctor began to show me that I needed Him to rebuild my foundation...I could no longer grow without it.

I took a look at a familiar passage (one I dismissed because in church they said it was for "baby" christians) and was amazed!


1 Peter 2:2-3
Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment. Now that you have had a taste of the Lord's kindness.

The very next verse blew me away!...

You are coming to Christ, who is the living cornerstone of God's temple.

He is the foundation.

Jesus.

Plain and simple.

So, I have seen my need to see the good doctor a little more lately.  He is rebuilding my foundation, teaching me some things that many of you already know, yet somehow I skipped. I am being very vulnerable here because some of you will see the delays in my development as I share....but it's okay if it helps someone else.

 In that same chapter of the Bible, I read that I am a living stone that God is building into a spiritual temple  (a place where He also lives). If I am the temple of the Holy Spirit and Jesus is my cornerstone (my foundation), what steps will I need to go back and learn in order to have a stronger foundation?

Just as the doctor evaluated this little boy, I have had to spend some time in my spiritual evaluation.  I have had to first realize a few things about myself and my dependance upon the doctor through this process.  

I have found out a few essential keys to developing a strong foundation I would like to share:

1) I have to trust Him and give Him honor (1 Peter 2:7)
    My doctor knows what He is doing and I have to participate with Him and trust that He 
    can help me. In my case, I have to stop trying to do things myself or depending upon      
    others to give me the answers only He can give.

2) I am chosen by Him to learn from Him (vs.9)
    Just as this little boy had to be evaluated to enter this program, we have to realize that
    we are chosen and accepted into this faith. "You are a chosen people, You are royal 
    priests, a holy nation, God's very own possession." He loves me and delights in helping
    me be all I'm created to be.  

3) I have an identity in God. (vs. 10)
    "Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God's people. Once you received no
    mercy; now you have received God's mercy."
    My friends' son will now qualify to do things other kids his age can do (like go to      
    preschool) because he has received the help he needed from the doctor.
    It is only by His mercy we are saved. Therefore, we can no longer depend upon
    the world's system to identify who we are (our success, money, beauty, position). We  
    belong to God and He will define our success as we learn our identity is found in Him.

4) I must participate with the process by obeying Him. (vs.7-9)
    I am not like I used to be. I am changing and growing. Verse 8 says that those who do
    not obey God's word will fall, but verse 9 says, "you are not like that, for you are a
    chosen people." Learning new things can be hard, at times we might regress or make
    mistakes, but His grace is enough and will help us get back up...even if we are not
    perfect.  Our obedience is better than sacrifice and he honors that....even when it hurts.
    Even Jesus obeyed when it hurt.

For a long time, I have desired to truly make a difference for the kingdom of God.  I want to see lives changed by the power of the cross.  Yet, without a strong foundation built on Jesus the chief cornerstone, I can lead others away from the cross instead of to it. 

Verse 12 says, " Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world."

When our foundation is built on Jesus, our Good Doctor, others will see the changes in our lives (like I've seen changes in my friend's son.) The more time we spend with Him, learning and growing, the more others will know we have been in His presence.

If you are like me, needing redemption, grace and to just breathe again...."cry out for nourishment" and you will receive the pure spiritual milk you need to grow into a full experience of salvation.

 

Am I a Woman or Am I a Puppet?

I recently watched the new "Muppets" movie with my family. My husband grew up watching Kermit and Miss Piggy and loved puppets.  He did not know he would get a puppet child of his own when he met and married a ventriloquist. My monkey "George" has been a part of me since I first ministered with him at age sixteen on a missions trip to Jamaica.

For those of you who have seen me in action with George, you know it is an interesting experience. 
My parents refer to him as a part of the family and kids often ask if he is real. I have George make jokes about me being his "backbone" and before I was married I used to say that "George is the only man I can control." LOL

There have been times that I have engaged so much in the conversation with my puppet that I worry if I am okay. I crack myself up when I talk through that little guy. My teeth are clinched and my tongue and hand are moving, but sometimes it seems I truly cannot control what he says. 

Okay, so before you get freaked out and start a rumor that I have multiple personalities, I'll get to the point.

There is a song in the new movie called, "Man or Muppet." In the song there are two characters... one a man, who cannot break from his puppet friend to marry his girlfriend of 10 years. The other, a puppet who wants to be a muppet, but cannot seem to figure out if he wants to stay comfortable with life as it is (living with humans and just not quite fitting in) or move on and be true to who he really is.

Although this song is a creative masterpiece and annoyingly gets stuck in my head, I find it challenging to say the least.

My entire life, I have been a Christ follower.  Yet, I have been gullible in every since of the word.  I have trusted and believed what teachers, preachers and books have said about what it means to be a "good christian."  Until recently.

Don't take me wrong. I am in no way trying to be rebellious. I believe whole- heartedly that I am to be in submission to those in authority over me.  I believe in godly wisdom, teaching and counsel.  But you have to understand that I had tried so hard to be the perfect good girl, that I found myself not having a mind of my own....not even knowing who I was. It has just been recently that I have realized I can no longer play the puppet.  

I turned 30 and my world seemed like it crumbled in front of me.  I no longer was on the stage with George, but up all night with crying babies (in which I love with all my being). I no longer was a children's pastor by profession, but one at home. No one noticed me.  I had no position. My parents were divorcing and so was my church (as it was going through a split at the time). We were financially strapped, stepping out in faith to travel with my husband's music while some friends didn't seem to support that decision.  I was struggling to literally breathe (with what we now know was tracheal stenosis), making everyday tasks difficult...even affecting my abilities as a ventriloquist.

Although this season has been so long and hard, it took this season to make me realize who I really was.  It took this season of not being in ministry to find my relationship with Jesus all over again.  It took this season of not being able to trust people, or everything they said or told me to do, to realize that God is the only one I can always trust. It took this season to see my need to dive into God's word for myself.

I can put on the puppet so to speak (or the mask as some would call it) and act as if everything is wonderful. Or...I can just be okay being me.  I'm the one who makes that crazy monkey talk anyway. And how I love to make people laugh.

I want to be an oak rooted firmly in Jesus, bearing fruit and prospering.  I want to know the word for myself and know Jesus for myself.  I want to stop pretending I am someone I'm not,stop performing for other's approval and stop being the puppet.  I want to know who I really am. And I have a feeling I'm about to find out for the first time.

“But then I will win her back once again.
    I will lead her into the desert
    and speak tenderly to her there.
¹⁵ I will return her vineyards to her
    and transform the Valley of Trouble^[b into a gateway of hope.
She will give herself to me there,
    as she did long ago when she was young,
    when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt.

Hosea 2:14-15

 

Are you comfortable being comfortable?

   My son Judah loves to watch Thomas the Train. Although we were blessed with many new gifts this Christmas, he always seems to default back to his trains. I am convinced that he could play with them all day long. The other funny thing is that he loves to watch Thomas on you tube. But not the episodes.  He likes to watch other kids play with their toys. It is so funny!  The craziest thing is that these clips have thousands if not millions of hits.  I guess other kids like to do the same thing and I am amazed at the free time parents have to help make these videos.

   After having a very social child first, I am glad to have a child who can play by himself.  However, I am also extremely inconvenienced when his videos are finished (only after 2 to 5 minutes) and I have to get up from the couch just to find another video and click the mouse. Does he not understand that I am busy trying to be comfortable?

    Aren't we all?

   I was interested in how Mr. Webster defined the word "comfortable" and he reads, "affording or enjoying contentment and security."  Wow.  It seems like so long since I've felt content or secure.  And God knows I sure haven't stopped trying to fill those voids. There are many ways that we try to feel comfortable.  We buy.  We eat. We try.  We meet.  Just maybe we will find that perfect thing or person who will make us feel content and secure.

    I've found myself in Luke's gospel this week. In chapter 10, Jesus was sending out his disciples and he says, "don't take any money with you, nor a traveler's bag, not an extra pair of sandals. And don't stop to greet anyone on the road." He tells them to leave their families, their comfortable places and follow Him. Later on in the chapter, he shows us through the good samaritan how to give...uncomfortably.  And then gives us a picture of a lady who was trying to make everyone else comfortable (by people pleasing) and missing the big picture of sitting at His feet.
   
          I find it interesting that in all three of these instances feeling content or secure seemed impossible.  However, the disciples were content and secure because they were living in the "seems crazy, upside down" Kingdom of God. The samaritan could've kept walking and it would have "seemed" to be the more comfortable thing for him to do. In his giving, he made someone else content and secure.  For Martha, she was busy "doing",instead of "being."  She may have had the right idea of serving, but were her motives and intentions meant to make herself feel good? Jesus gently reminds Martha, that Mary had chosen the one thing that was worth being concerned about.  Instead of scurrying around trying to please, she was sitting getting to know the only One who can make one feel comfortable.

     Many times we want to run from our problems.  We do what we need to do to be comfortable.  We even leave the uncomfortable places to avoid confrotation or rejection.  We move away or leave our churches.  We find new friends and buy new houses.  It's true that comfort food feels good when consumed, but what will happen if that is all we eat?

     Let us push past the feeling of being uncomfortable. Because being comfortable is not about how you feel or what you do. I am convinced that "affording or enjoying contentment and security"  can only come when we choose to be uncomfortable for the Kingdom, give unselfishly, and sit at His feet...
(and while you are at it,get up off the couch and push play for your son!)

Psalm 119:76

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ⁷⁶ Now let your unfailing love comfort me,
      just as you promised me, your servant.