Thanksgiving comes before Christmas!

It is amazing how immediately following Halloween, one can go to the store and the christmas trees are already up...like on November 1st? Don't take me wrong, we all love Christmas.  But what happened to Thanksgiving? I wonder if the root of this is that, as a culture, we have forgotten to give thanks.

We can blame the media and the culture we live, but the change must begin in our homes. I remember a phrase my mom used to use, "Have an attitude of gratitude."  Unfortunately, the attitude in the Cutshaw home has been anything but grateful lately.  Of course we are appreciative to God for the things He gives us, but we had been magnifying what we did not have more than what we did.

We know that God called us to travel and minister as a famliy through music.  Yet, when things slowed down this last month or so and the bills were due, we began to question whether this had been the path He wanted us on.  We began to make our own plans and every time we tried, they would fail.  In fact, this Thanksgiving we fought depression and anxiety like never before.  One particular night a week or so ago, God gave us an idea to help suppliment our income.  Immediately my body went into a panic attack.  I called my mom and she and her friends begin to pray.  She felt God wanted to remind us that "Thanksgiving comes before Christmas."

Two days ago, God took me back to a verse I have read my entire life. 

Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

 I have always focused on the "future and a hope" part of that verse.  This time, He highlighted "the plans I have for you."  We were asking God to bless our plans instead of keeping our eyes on His plans for us.

I realized this and we began to give thanks.  We began to remember how someone paid our bills last month.  I began to reflect on how I had asked God specifically for a christmas tree (ours had broke last year) and someone showed up with one the very next day. I recalled just last week when we bumped into friends at the grocery store who had come for the purpose of buying a card for us.  They filled it will enough money to pay the bills that were due.  Just yesterday, I talked with my sister-in-law about how God was challenging me to be thankful...to magnify what He was doing more than what was not happening.

Last night, we were blessed in a way we have never been blessed before.  Some friends showed up and showered us with gifts, money, food and a car!  Yes...a mini-van (a specific prayer of mine several months ago).  Not only did they shower us with gifts, but encouragement that we were on the right path and prayers and a letter that meant more to us than they will ever know.

We had Christmas.  We would have been thankful for the presents a few weeks ago.  But because of His grace and unconditional love, we were able to truly re-celebrate Thanksgiving.  The feeling of being stuffed full as you take that afternoon nap on turkey day, lingers this morning. Tears continue to fill our eyes. Our God is faithful.
__________________________________________________________________

Several years ago, Travis wrote a song that he finished and recorded last night. It is a song of our thankfulness to God for all He has done.  I felt like it fit well with this blog.  I hope you enjoy, for this is a "Sacred Simple Christmas Day."  Click the link below to hear the song.


http://soundcloud.com/traviscutshaw/sacred-simple-christmas-demo

Dove's Eyes

Just this last week, Travis and I celebrated seven beautiful years of marriage!  Seven years and two kids later,  I am more in love with Travis than I was on our wedding day.  We've settled in well.  We are now finding our groove. We now are discovering how our family should function and what we are to look like. Although marriage will never stop being hard work, at least I feel the foundation has been laid . That is a good feeling.


I remember the first time I looked into Travis's eyes.  We weren't even official yet, but we were in a room of people and I can recall the moment, frozen in time.  Our eyes locked for the first time and I felt butterflies.  Not quite sure what anyone said, just sure I mattered to this man and he mattered to me.  It was nothing less than magical.


Recently, on our faith walk we have had to trust God like never before.  We have learned to hear his voice, even if it is a whisper.  Several months ago we had the opportunity to be on a television show in Tulsa.  On our 3 day journey, the Lord began to speak into my spirit to keep my eyes on him...to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. As I meditated on Proverbs 3, I began to hear two songs in my head; "Turn your eyes on Jesus" and "Dove's Eyes." 


I recently shared my fears with a family member and she told me that she had a dream that she was on a bridge and if she even looked to the right or left, she would fall.  That is exactly where we've been the past few months.  When the faith is up, the focus is on, but if we even take our eyes off Jesus and look down at the waves, like Peter, we begin to sink in fear.


In Tulsa, I shared that God's desire is that we look intently into His eyes.  We have to get our eyes off man and off the way things have always been done and look straight at him. In the Song of Solomon the lover refers to his bride's eyes as dove's eyes.  I read up on doves and discovered that many times when two doves meet, their eyes lock and they are lovers for life.


I came home from that trip and as I prayed over our bills that we were behind on. As I looked through the mail, I opened a card from a friend I had not talked to in half a year.  It said, "Press on and press in. Do NOT give up; or be distracted by the hinderances to the left or right.  keep your eyes focused (like dove's eyes) onto God and God alone."


My spirit leaped!  I had heard His voice.  He had heard mine.  There are so many days, like today, that my eyes drift away. But I now know that when everything is crazy and the storm is raging, there is a place (in His presence) where time stands still and he is waiting to look intently into my eyes with fervant love. I am ready to respond.

Hebrews 12:1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who intiates and perfects our faith.  Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame.  Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne.  Think of all the hostitilty he endured from sinful people; then you won't become weary and give up.

Jumping In...Head First

I have always loved to swim, however I have always been afraid to dive in head first. I am not the best swimmer by any means. I can do the little tricks that kids do. I can stand on my hands under water, do a little flip and hold my breath for a really long time. I can jump in and make a big splash, twisting or toe touching. I keep waiting for the opportunity to be alone with someone I trust in a really deep pool so they can teach me how to take the plunge, head first. I like the idea that one person is there to save me, and no one else is there to laugh at me. I hope that one person will be my husband. I know his love is unconditional even if I mess up.


For someone who knows how to dive, this may seem silly. If you know how, you have probably dove head first more than you have jumped in and I am sure you love every minute of it. "It is easy, just do it," you are telling me as you read. Easier said than done in my case.


God's word is clear, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). Yet so many times, we allow fear to keep us from fun, adventure, freedom. We must choose to dive in and face our fear knowing that in the end, it will be worth it.


Recently, we have dove head first so to speak in our walk of faith. In the past year, God began to speak to my husband that it was time for him to pursue the calling He has placed upon his life. In every possible way, God confirmed his word to Travis and to myself. We quit our job and began raising money to make a record in Charlotte,NC. Since then, God has begun to open doors for my husband to minister with these gifts. We are currently starting a ministry. Not only have we just finished a major record which was expensive, we also have to pay the bills.


Many would not and do not understand this leap of faith. We see, though how God orders our steps. Last year He began preparing us financially and spiritually for this leap. As ambassadors for an organization that required we raise our own salary, we saw months without pay and God rescue us time and time again. It was never how we imagined it, but He did it! On one instance we were down to one diaper. We found one in the closet floor and later that same day, God gave us $50 to buy the food and diapers we needed. He then asked us to give the rest to our neighbor. We later found out they did not have money for dinner that night. His ways are higher than ours.


Spiritually, God took our pastor through a series of sermons on transition and positioning into our destiny. The food of God's word fed us many sleepless nights. He also led us to the passage in Matthew chapter 6 when Jesus says to not worry about what you will eat or drink or wear. He told us not to worry about tomorrow. The Lord told us to take it day by day. We did, sometimes reluctantly, and He provided the manna from heaven. We were in training for this time.


Of course we are fought with fear. The voice of fear says, "you are in over your heads." "It's too deep, you are going to drown." "By the way, you looked pretty silly jumping in....belly buster."


Then we hear another voice. A voice in the water we are submerged in. The voice of faith. "Yes, you are in over your heads." "Yes, it is deep, but you are surrounded by the presence of the living God and He is water to your soul." "You may have looked silly to them, but you did it. You dove head first!!!"


I pray that in the physical, I will face my fear and dive head first this summer. I know it will be scary. I also know that once it is done, I will be free....even if a crowd is watching and laughing at my belly bust. I am going to do it. In fact I'm going to do it in front of a crowd, even if they laugh. I am going to dive in head first at Royal Family Kid's Camp and show some kids that they too can face their fears!

The Princess and The Poo

           Green and brown plastic army men and a headless Barbie are staring at me now.  Well, sort of.  I would like to say that I am writing from a clean, organized desk. However, that is not the case.  A lunch box, umbrella cover and pack of gum are just a few of the items I must choose to look over as I type these words on my computer screen. I would not have it any other way.

            Being a mother of toddlers is challenging, exhausting and all together exhilarating.  I walked into the room today and knew my 22 month old son was into something he should not have been.  I could see it on his face.  He looked as if he was eating something and I asked him what it was.  He was holding something up for me to see. As he placed what was in his little fist into my hand, I realized …it was poo.  Yes, poo!  He had decided he would clean out his diaper and wipe his hand off on the television stand.  Tonight, all I can do is smile.  I love him so much.

            Yesterday, my little girl was able to have her dreams come true.  Someone gave us free tickets to see “Disney on Ice.”  It was about an hour drive and we decided to tell her that we were going on a family date, but she had to wait to find out where we were going.  On the drive, she began to tell us that today was a special day for her friend, Kaitlin.  She was going to see princesses skate on ice.  She told us that she wished she could go too.  I looked at my husband and could hardly contain myself!  When we arrived at the mall adjacent to the arena, there were little princesses everywhere.  Ana asked, ‘Why are all the little girls dressed up? Why am I not dressed up?”  We sat her down and told her that she was going to get to dress up too.  We reached into a bag and pulled out her very own princess dress and matching tiara.

            The show was mesmerizing to her.  Her big eyes were glued to the show with an occasional eruption in applause and a hand over her mouth when the princesses would finally meet the prince.  At one point, she could no longer hide her excitement and put her little arm around my neck and hugged me as if to say, “AAHHHHHHHHHHHH…thank you!”

            The truth was that I was as excited as she, if not more.  I remember looking at my husband at one point as tears gathered in our eyes.  We were so thankful to a God who was mindful of us and our little princess. At a time when it was financially not possible for us to take our baby girl to Disney World, He gave her the desires of her heart and brought the experience to her.

            Lately, I have been thinking about our Father’s love for us, His children.  It does not matter if we are as pretty as a princess or playing in poo, He loves us unconditionally.  In fact, He almost cannot contain Himself when He blesses us with those little surprises.  Judah did not have to clean up his own poo and Ana did not have to wear her princess dress in order to attend the ball.   So why is it that we big people think we have to clean ourselves before He will accept us or twist and turn in performance to win His approval?

            So many times I have made my walk with Jesus feel like a walk on a tight rope or balance beam.  If I make one wrong move, it will all be over.  He knows we will trip on occasion.  He will be there to catch us and clean us up. He is there to dress us and dance with us if we will follow His lead.  He is not concerned as much about the steps we are taking as He is about us trusting Him as He holds us close.

            Right now, my Ana is waking with a bad dream.  As her mother, I want to take it away.  She is the apple of my eye.  I can hold her, sing over her and speak soothing words to her. As long as she is asleep, she will not even realize I am there.  However, when the princess awakens, she will know she is safe and loved.

            Daughters of God, mothers of His babies, let Him speak to you tonight.  You are the apple of His eye.  He loves you in your poo and in your sparkles.  And this day, He is soothing you with these words, “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17

Good morning, My princess, it is time to wake up and know you are safe and loved.

           

Seeing the Sunshine

My name is "Kari LaDawn". My dad told me when I was a little girl that he always wanted to title a book, "Bring the Morning Sunshine," then he had me and I was to "carry the dawn." My mom would often sing to me the lyrics to a popular song, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away."

As a little girl, my name and purpose were fought. I began to carry lots of things, but sunshine was not one of them. I carried relationships, failures and problems. I continued to do so for many years. I had a big heart. It was broken many times.

I was full of life, full of sunshine. That is who I was. I watch my four year old little girl and remember being so much like her. I was full of freedom, laughter, and song. Yet somehow, the loud singing became a whisper and like rain, fear put out the flame. The sunshine was taken away.

At times, a beam would shine through and I would see that I could put a smile on someone's face. I loved making people happy. I soon realized that people were not always happy. Once again, I carried them.

I carried their opinions of me. I defined who I was by what they thought of me. If they liked me, I was happy. If they did not, it was a very gloomy day for me.

I always wanted to do what was right. At a very young age, I accepted Jesus into my life. I believed and wanted to follow Him. I loved Him. I knew He loved me. As I began to believe that my worth came from what others thought of me, I began to feel like I had to work for His love too. I memorized scripture, performed with my talents, taught Sunday school, became the Bible club president, went on missions trips, joined ministries, and eventually became a pastor to children. Although in my heart of hearts, I wanted to please Him, I also wanted the approval and attention these things and positions gave me. When I did make a mistake, it sent me into a whirlwind, a tornado of emotions and fears.

I am now 31 years old. I have been at home for almost 5 years. These last few years have been the hardest of my life. My crazy busy world was pulled to a hault when I had my children. A very busy career woman became a stay at home mom over night and I thought my world was over. All the attention, accolades, and friends were gone. Although under the love of my husband, I felt alone. My sky was very dark. I fought depression and anxiety to the point of panic attacks and consistant migranes. There was no sunshine, it was night.

But...the "SONshine" has bursted through the clouds. He has given me beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that I may be called a tree of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”

There are days now when I feel the gloom. There are days that still feel like night. More than often, I see the sunshine breaking through the clouds. I have been watching a tree in our backyard. It held onto its leaves this winter through much snow and ice. I am now watching as leaves begin to grow on those same branches. There are still a few dead leaves on that tree, but as the blooms overtake the tree, the dead leaves are blowing away.

So life has brought me here. To a place of good pain. A place where all is removed but God. He is overtaking my despair with his life. It is such a free place because I no longer have to be perfect, perform or please. I pray that in this season, I will reclaim my name and "carry the morning sunshine" as I discover the fresh life, peace, and warmth that comes only from the 'Son.'