Jumping In...Head First

I have always loved to swim, however I have always been afraid to dive in head first. I am not the best swimmer by any means. I can do the little tricks that kids do. I can stand on my hands under water, do a little flip and hold my breath for a really long time. I can jump in and make a big splash, twisting or toe touching. I keep waiting for the opportunity to be alone with someone I trust in a really deep pool so they can teach me how to take the plunge, head first. I like the idea that one person is there to save me, and no one else is there to laugh at me. I hope that one person will be my husband. I know his love is unconditional even if I mess up.


For someone who knows how to dive, this may seem silly. If you know how, you have probably dove head first more than you have jumped in and I am sure you love every minute of it. "It is easy, just do it," you are telling me as you read. Easier said than done in my case.


God's word is clear, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). Yet so many times, we allow fear to keep us from fun, adventure, freedom. We must choose to dive in and face our fear knowing that in the end, it will be worth it.


Recently, we have dove head first so to speak in our walk of faith. In the past year, God began to speak to my husband that it was time for him to pursue the calling He has placed upon his life. In every possible way, God confirmed his word to Travis and to myself. We quit our job and began raising money to make a record in Charlotte,NC. Since then, God has begun to open doors for my husband to minister with these gifts. We are currently starting a ministry. Not only have we just finished a major record which was expensive, we also have to pay the bills.


Many would not and do not understand this leap of faith. We see, though how God orders our steps. Last year He began preparing us financially and spiritually for this leap. As ambassadors for an organization that required we raise our own salary, we saw months without pay and God rescue us time and time again. It was never how we imagined it, but He did it! On one instance we were down to one diaper. We found one in the closet floor and later that same day, God gave us $50 to buy the food and diapers we needed. He then asked us to give the rest to our neighbor. We later found out they did not have money for dinner that night. His ways are higher than ours.


Spiritually, God took our pastor through a series of sermons on transition and positioning into our destiny. The food of God's word fed us many sleepless nights. He also led us to the passage in Matthew chapter 6 when Jesus says to not worry about what you will eat or drink or wear. He told us not to worry about tomorrow. The Lord told us to take it day by day. We did, sometimes reluctantly, and He provided the manna from heaven. We were in training for this time.


Of course we are fought with fear. The voice of fear says, "you are in over your heads." "It's too deep, you are going to drown." "By the way, you looked pretty silly jumping in....belly buster."


Then we hear another voice. A voice in the water we are submerged in. The voice of faith. "Yes, you are in over your heads." "Yes, it is deep, but you are surrounded by the presence of the living God and He is water to your soul." "You may have looked silly to them, but you did it. You dove head first!!!"


I pray that in the physical, I will face my fear and dive head first this summer. I know it will be scary. I also know that once it is done, I will be free....even if a crowd is watching and laughing at my belly bust. I am going to do it. In fact I'm going to do it in front of a crowd, even if they laugh. I am going to dive in head first at Royal Family Kid's Camp and show some kids that they too can face their fears!