Dealing with Disappointment

Scars, wounds, shattered dreams, unfulfilled promises, messed up plans...Disappointment. 

We have all been there before.  Our expectations get the best of us, and we are down for the count before we know it.  You expected to get that promotion, go on that trip, have Thanksgiving meal with that family member.  Don't forget to mention that you worked so hard to make it perfect, just for it all to fall apart.

Ugh! I am disappointed at talking about these disappointments.

Some disappointments make us upset, but we soon realize that it all works out in the end, and we shouldn't have gotten in such a tizzy over it after all.

However, sometimes disappointment goes much, much deeper... into our souls.  It seeps into the crevices of our heart and comes out our mouths in explosions of anger, or from our eyes in weeping of tears. Sometimes, the disappointment is too much to handle.

The loved one has taken their last breath, and you had plans for the future.

The husband walks out on you, and you don't know what you did wrong, or what you could do to make it right.

The bills roll in, and debt gets higher, and before you know what hit you, you are bankrupt in so many ways.

Sometimes, disappoinment comes in waves from behind, and you are gasping for breath between the  blows.

We are left disillusioned, disheartened, sad, and empty.

There is no easy, quick fix for it.  There is no recipe for getting back above water.  Mostly, time heals. I do know that everyone grieves differently and it is okay.  However,  I have realized through life's disappointments a couple of valuable lessons that I would like to share in hope that it might help someone.

  My first piece of advice would be to let disappointment come, and express it physically;cry, scream, run, sleep, laugh.  Do whatever works for you, but please let it out. Talk to a friend. Pray to God. Sing. But, do not hold it in. Each time you do, a brick will pile on top of another, and a wall will build inside your heart.  A wall that is very hard to break.  It is okay to be broken, to allow yourself to feel, to allow others to feel.  It is healthy for the soul.

Secondly, do not believe this is all your fault.  You may not have had the desired outcome and your expectations may not have been met, but this does not mean it was or is entirely your fault. As my momma says," If the shoe fits, wear it.  If it does not, do not put it on." You may have made mistakes, or taken wrong actions, but life happens.  In the same manner, you cannot carry the weight of the what if's...What if I had done this or that or said this or that?  Then...it would have had a different outcome. Nor should you carry the weight of other people's bad decisions. Living in regret and replaying scenarios and conversations only makes one look inward.  You weren't meant to carry this weight. Turn around and love on someone.  Somehow that will bring salve and a little relief to your wounds, and theirs too.

 Finally,you must know that when the grief of disappointment passes,  there will be a time to hope again.  This is okay.  To hope does not mean you will forget the past. Do not feel guilty for hoping again. It is all part of your story.  Sharing your life disappointments and journey with others can help others work through theirs.  Turning the page to the "Hope" chapter is just that, a chapter of your story that is beautifully written for you, and for those who read the pages of your life. 

As a result of embracing life's disappointments,  one can be free to embrace the season of hope when it comes. The good times will be a little sweeter.  This time, your expectations will be different,.  You will not hope in your plans, but in Hope itself. Mostly, you will be able to rise above the waves so that when the next wave of disappointment comes (and that is inevitable), you will be able to hold the hand of someone going under and pull them through to safety.